Putting Yourself On The Top Of The List

My eye started twitching again.  This usually happens when I become overwhelmed, overworked and over-stressed.  I would like to blame this annual problem on the craziness of life in August – the back-to-school rush, soccer season in full force, volunteer positions ramping up, etc., etc.  To look in from the outside (always a mistake) I’m living a charmed life.  After all I have a happy marriage, five smart daughters, a lovely home and fulfilling career, all the things that are expected to bring happiness and joy in life.  Yet, my eye is twitching again. And, I know the reason why – I’m living an unsustainable, unhealthy lifestyle.

Unhealthy, you say?  Why, yes.  And my largest failures to keep myself healthy, here is my rundown:

I feel unhealthy, sluggish and unfocused

I am tired most of the day and fall into a 5:00pm sleeping coma almost everyday.

I hardly ever exercise, which I use to LOVE! Yoga and bike riding are my favorites, yet I haven’t practiced yoga or taken a 45 minute bike ride in over two years (WHY?!?)

I’m about 35 lbs over my ideal weight, currently 165lbs. (No body-shaming here, just facts)

When I try to downward dog, six inches of horizontal belly fat hangs three inches away from my abdominal muscles

I can’t sneeze without peeing my pants

My elbows have started to ache at night and early mornings (what the F is that about)

I don’t eat until I’m famished. Writing this now, its 11:40am and all I’ve given myself is two cups of coffee and my meds

Speaking of MEDS, I’m taking a 20MG of Lexapro (Depression), 50MG of Levothyroxine (Low Thyroid), and 25MG Spironolactone (for my breaking out and completion)

Waking up every morning and rolling out of bed is sometimes the worst (I love sleep)

I drink wine or beer almost every day (Ok every day, 1-2 drinks a day)

I hardly ever drink water

I sweat like I’ve run a marathon doing to most inactive things (like just sitting still and typing this)

I get annoyed and worked up over the smallest things (which REALLY sucks this political season)

I’m not spending enough time in prayer or meditation

I’m running around like a crazy person

My energy level is loooowwwwwww

Now, after read that list, you’re either thinking to yourself, “Yeah, I get it.” Or “Why the hell don’t you change things.”  (Yeah, I’m saying the second to myself, just so you know).  And here is my justification for letting things get so out of control and why I wanted to share thing with all you moms (and dads) in Smartieland:  I have put myself last on my family’s priority list.

This isn’t a new thing for me, I’ve been doing it now for almost twenty years; however, I FEEL it now because of these wonderful 40’s (remember that elbow thing?).  I’ve been living an unsustainable lifestyle and I’m at the precipice of choice.  Either I change NOW or I continue down this road of misery.

When I think of all the things that make me most happy in life (that don’t necessarily include my family – gasp) they all include physical activity:  Traveling, mountain biking, rock climbing, yoga, did I mention traveling?  If keep heading in this direction, I won’t be in any kind of shape to do the things I love after I’ve invested 33 years into my kids and family.  Something has to change.

So, here I am.  I advise girls to be healthy and authentic, so I’m taking a bit of my own advice.  I am going to begin this journey of healthy lifestyle embracement and I’m inviting you to join me.  If you are feeling similar, please share your experiences with us.  Our mission at Smart Girl Society is to support girls, women and families, as they say, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”

Love you all,

Amie Konwinski, CEO and founder of Smart Girl Society


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